TICKING OF THE CLOCK

The ticking of the clock. Heartbeat growing faster. Empty mind.

She was trying to complete her examination. All of a sudden, her mind tries to play a game.

Who am I? What is my origin? Who are my ancestors? Where is my life headed towards?

I used to be a child who would cry and throw tantrums for a doll. Then, I was an adolescent who would walk on silently through her own life. And now? Where am I? What am I doing here?

The thoughts never leave her alone, never lets her do her job.

The thoughts started to fade away, and was gradually overlapped with the sound of the ticking clock again. Back to reality. She twitched her head and focused back on the question paper. Question number 3. She turned back her answer sheet and wondered,

When did I write this all? Aren’t I the one who wrote this? Then why am I so confused?

Okay, back to question number 3, “Think critically and give reason…”

A short moment of muddle, and she went with the flow.

Question number 5; she’s lost again. Her thoughts started getting the best of her again.

MBA? What is MBA really? What paper is this?

She went through the instructions on the question paper. Her eyes stopped on the words “Master of Business Administration”.

Master?

She was startled.

What is this “Master”? Have anyone thought of this before? Why do people so crave this degree? Can anyone define this “Master” in a deeper manner? I guess not.

“Then why are you here?” she asked herself.

7:45 am. Time surely passed fast. Heartbeat faster. She is now hanging by a thread. Exploded with the thoughts, she writes even faster.  Ignoring all the thoughts, and with no control over her writing speed, she went into a deep writing mode.

Question number 6

She contemplates all over the class. Some were lost in their own thoughts, some chatting with each other, some trying to escape, the chattering and the activities go on.

With a sense of tranquility, she fell into the trap of thoughts again. Thoughts turned into an abyss of the dream world.

“Yay! The hat Momma! I got it! Finally, I made you proud! Yay!”

She was the pride and delight for her parents. Her desire to throw the hat high up in the sky had finally succeeded. Her aim was to become a successful person.

With a genuine smile on her face, she forgot why she was here. What was her purpose of being here? That was a sweet dream. Maybe this is what momma meant when she wished me sweet dreams every single night before going to bed.

The celebration inside her dream was again coincided by the ticking of the clock. Time to wake up. Back to the examination hall. Back to the same paper and pen. A brief glimpse on the clock. 8:00 am. Reality check. Question number 6. The writing begins to flow again. She completes the answer to question number 6, and is now approaching 7.

She starts to drift back into her thoughts. Thoughts about examinations and her opinion towards it.

Does this sheet of paper decide our future? What the hell is this? Does this paper measure my skills? Does this paper really recognize who I am? Why is this paper so important for us? Will the marks I get in this paper affect my application for a job? Is it just a number that decides my future?

Then? What is it? Are people so heartless that they identify a person by a digit of number on this paper? Are people more identifiable with numbers rather than their name? Why is it so? Is this how everyone perceives? Don’t they have their own life? Own desires, wants, needs? Maybe they have never dreamt.

The clock ticks louder this time. She is perplexed. She ran out of answer sheet. She asks for an extra sheet of paper from the invigilator. Such an achievement. That feeling of pride when you ask for an extra paper. Feels like you’re on the top of the world. Funny though.

She finally completes her paper and gets on with her life again. The reality that really matters.